Motherhood can be anything but direct and straightforward. Multifaceted and challenging, motherhood is an expedition for only the most resilient women among us. Very often moms are untruthful to themselves to make motherhood appear much easier and less challenging. Time and again we don’t even recognize we are doing it. Here are five lies you might be continuously telling yourself that you shouldn’t.
1. I Have to Be Perfect
Merriam-Webster defines perfection as “freedom from fault or defect.” Many moms are fixated with the idea of being a perfect parent. Often this perfection is to meet your own expectations of how a mother should be and other times it is to live up to the expectations of others. But let’s get honest, there is no definition of a “perfect mother”.
Being yourself and striving to raise smart, caring, and kind children is what makes each mother unique and perfect in her own right. As much as parenting books attempt to define motherhood, each family has their own unique experiences, challenges, and triumphs. For that reason, rather than pushing yourself to be the perfect that society or the media tells you to be, focus on being the best mom for your family.
2. I’m a Mom, I Can’t Have a Life
Being a mother does not entitle you to chain yourself to your home. Many moms, whether they are a full-time stay at home moms, or they work outside of the home, feel that motherhood demands them to choose a life that includes the rest of their family, especially the children! But this is not true. As a mother, it is important to make time for you. Whether it is joining a moms group or taking an exercise class, taking time for yourself will help you to reboot, restore, and revitalize yourself so you can be the very best mom you can be.
3. My Child’s Faults Are Mine
Regardless of how much you teach and guide your children, kids will make mistakes. This does not mean you didn’t direct or guide them enough. Often kids need to learn from their own mistakes as much as we must learn from ours. As a mother we can’t always protect our kids from the tough realities and trials of life, nor should you want to. Teaching a child to deal with the consequences of their actions will help prepare them for adulthood. For that reason stop being worrying about your kids mistakes and use it as a teachable moment.
4. Moms Must Be Involved in All Aspect of Their Child’s Life
Stop restraining your child. Children are entitled to their own space as much as you are to yours. While you are ultimately responsible for caring and raising your children, it is also important to let your kids experience life without you a bit. Learn to recognize when and where your kids really need you, and when you simply feel you need to be there for them.
5. My Children Hate Me
From the terrible two’s to the teenage years, there will be many times that you feel as though your children hate you. While your kid may be spewing anger at you, they don’t hate you. You might just have the unlucky privilege of being a sounding board for their developing egos and emotions. Sometimes that means turning against the person that loves them—you. So, take it with a grain of sand and remember this too shall pass. Remember, despite what they say or do at no point do your children truly hate you.
