When my first daughter moved on from junior high school, I entered another phase of child rearing. The graduation procedure was a true eye opener for me, and I soon realized that I needed to figure out how to “let go” a tad bit. As my teen became a high schooler, I began to understand the importance of “raising a child.”
Like most parents, my central goal is to raise mindful, free, and socially cognizant young adult. During the months, days, and minutes paving the way to high school graduation, there have been many times that I have wanted to “request” that she does things my way. It has been very trying for me to watch my daughter do things the most difficult way possible when I know there is an easier, more practical approach to complete things.
Just like there is no parenting book for raising kids, there is no parenting book on all the emotions, conflicts, and issues that can and will arise with teenagers. I depend mostly on judgment and advice from other parents of teenage girls while executing my powerful child rearing abilities.
During this time, I am always urging her to construct critical thinking skills; while I remain on the sidelines. On the sidelines cheering, I am “tuning in” to her and believing in her judgment. All through these teen years, I have discovered peace by remaining in the “moment” and keeping an open heart.
Many other parents may have or may be encountering a scope of feelings during their teenager’s high school years. A very wise woman reminded me that this high school/teenage season is simply just a moment in time. We as parents of high schoolers should appreciate and gain from every minute by:
- Remember. Remembering that you were once your teenager’s age will help you to understand your teenager and what they are going through.. Help your teen create techniques for making scholastic progress.
- Be proactive. When examining life issues with your teen, be proactive with whatever may come up. Discussing good grades, money management, and responsibilities should start in the pre-adolescent years.
- Be persistent. Utilize the supper table to talk about important issues like sex, drugs, peer pressure, and bullying.
- Listen, love, and laugh with your teen. Give your teen your ample and undivided attention. In the nineties, when I was growing up, there was emphasis on quality time, verses quantity time. Quality time is significantly more imperative than quantity time.
- Remain a steadying power in your teen’s life. Create a protected, relaxed environment so your teen will feel comfortable trusting in you. Remind them that they can come to you with any issues that may arise, good or bad.
This can be a motivating time in child rearing. Like birds, there comes an opportunity when it’s important to give them a chance and opportunity to fly. Be confident about the skills you have given your teen. Believe their capacity to use sound judgment. Obviously, it’s okay to be stressed or feel restless over your teen’s success. But, remember all the great life lessons your teen has learned up until this point. You will be astonished by what your teen has gained from you. Keep on encouraging their endeavors as they go into adulthood.
Through this experience, I have discovered that my kid needs me more than ever, however just in a changed way. Rather than “coordinator,” I am now a “mentor” here for direction. Grasp this new period of child rearing, and grin as your teen investigates new skylines.