“Ode to My Younger Self”

SexyMoxieMama.com Dear Younger Self,

How exciting it must be to be so young and vibrant. For I sit here older yet not much wiser, there are things that you must understand. These are things that I can tell you that you may not realize now but, will help you.

The world is not as small as the town that you live in. You will visit places that will stay with you forever. You will see some of the most beautiful places in the world that now may seem mundane and boring to you. You will take for granted the inspiration that each of these places hold. But the older you will hold these places sacred. South Padre, Marco and Captiva Islands; Biloxi, Mississippi; New Orleans, Louisiana; Daleville, Alabama; St. Croix, USVI; Key West, Florida; Cozemel, Mexico; Nashville, Tennessee. All of these places you will hold dear for reasons known and unknown to you.

You will experience very strong emotions. You will know all too well what hurt is. But, be assured that this hurt will pass with time. You will experience loss, for the stinging pain of losing something or someone so dear is the deepest dagger to the heart. You will feel love and experience how it embraces you. You will feel hate and know the damaging effects that it holds. You will show empathy more than ever before and see how it heals those that are near to you. Emotions will play a large part of your life. You will be guided by them and learn from them. Sometimes, it may take multiple attempts for these lessons to learned but be assured that they will be understood.

Life is so precious. You must live for the day–grasp everyday as if it were your last. Stop stressing about the size of your thighs–they will get bigger. Learn that life is about more than hanging out at Denny’s until the wee hours of the morning—there is so many more exciting things that you could be doing. Forget about that boyfriend that dumped you or those crushes that never seemed to realize what you have to offer–they will soon be a distant memory in your life. Read more, act more, love more, be more. Stop becoming bored so easily, persistence is the key to life. Write, write, write with all your heart. Don’t stop until your mind is numb and the pencil is a mere nub. Learn as much as you can so someday someone might call you a brainiac. Stop thinking that beauty holds the key to everything–it doesn’t. Knowledge holds the key to the future and can take more places than you can ever imagine.

You will achieve things that you cannot even imagine now. You will join the armed forces for more reasons than you can understand. Your reasons for joining will change as you grow wiser and more patriotic. You will learn that life does not revolve around you. You will learn that sometimes, despite your convictions, it better to just “shut up and color”. Life will change and evolve as you spend your time in the military. You will be sad and lonesome at first, but be assured that you are strong and you will surpass this loneliness and become stronger from it. You will know how much your family means to you when you are in Biloxi and they are in St. Louis that first Thanksgiving away from your family when in the military. You will feel loneliness when you hear your mother, father, brothers, aunts, uncles, and grandparents voices on the line—oh how you would do anything to be with them. But you will also feel the love of your “adopted family” the ones that took you in when you had no where to go that first Christmas on your own—the ones that are dear to your heart now. Oh, how you love and miss them now.

Life will change. Nothing stays the same and you will feel the strain that change has on you. You must be versatile and flexible like a sapling. You must go with the changes like a leaf in the wind. Trying to stay stagnant will only make you that must further behind the pack. You must strive to be at the front of the pack, despite how comfortable it is to blend in the middle. You must set yourself apart from the rest, and again I emphasize, beauty is not the answer. You must be smarter, wiser, brighter, and more artistic than the rest to stand apart. You must realize that there will always be someone who is taller, thinner, smarter, kinder, more open minded, more artistic than yourself—it is ok. You must embrace the differences within yourself. You must not let these differences determine who you are as a person.

You will know God. You will know that your prayers are being heard and answered, if not at that moment. You will know that God does things in his own time, not yours. Prayers and dreams that seem never to be realized will work themselves out for the best. Don’t lose hope that God is listening. Even in your darkest hours, you will feel God.

You will lose loved ones, people in your life that you depend on to be your rock. You must become your own rock. You will lose a best friend in a fit of greed. You will cry and feel the hole in you hear for many years to come. This will change you, and harden you a bit. But, be assured, you will be part of the justice that will keep his honor held high. You will lose your mother. This will be the hardest day of your life. You will ask yourself why she was taken so young and why she had to suffer for so long before going Home. And you will lose others.

You will have the honor of being a mother yourself. You will feel that baby grow in your belly and know that she will be special. For she is who makes you a mother. You will impatiently await the day that she is born, wishing it to come sooner than expected but she will be stubborn and hold on until the ideal moment to enter into this world. Oh and when you hold her in your arms and you look into her eyes, it as if you knew her all along. Every decision you make from here on out will be for her good. Sure, you will still have your moments of selfishness and impulsiveness but now, it is different. For every action you make will have a direct impact on her and her siblings to come.

In conclusion, life is a worthwhile journey. You are at the beginning of this journey now. Smile more, laugh more, cry less, stress less, attend more concerts and plays, enjoy art, talk less and listen more, talk more and shout less, and take nothing for granted for life is too short.

Love Always,

Your Older Self

“Ode to My Younger Self” by Christina Bruns Bhattacharya is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at https://themoxiemama.com.
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