Every year on this date I unfold and quietly read an old letter that is always kept folded neatly inside a pouch with other old letters and pictures. This one, unlike the others, has no envelope, is written quickly, and is written on the wrong side of the paper. The letter is one that I cherish and keep close to my heart on a daily basis. The words are encouraging and heartbreaking at the same time. Let me explain.

Each year, over 100,000 American children and adults of all ages and ethnicities wait for an organ and tissue donation. In order for a person to be eligible for organ donation, a lengthy screening process must be performed and a viable organ must become available. A person who donates their organs can save or improve up to 50 lives. Regrettably, many people awaiting an organ transplant pass away having never gotten the lifesaving call informing them that a suitable organ donor is available for transplantation.

Organ Donor An Open Letter

Fortunately, this was not the case for my mother. On October 6, 2002, at the age of 48 and after much suffering, she received a much needed heart transplant. About a year after her transplant, she received this letter in secret. Back then, it was not typical that the donor and recipient be disclosed to each other.

For the sake of authenticity, I have kept all grammatical and spelling errors intact as originally written.

Dear Recipient:

I have postponed writing this letter for several months because I didn’t quite know how to express my emotions concerning my daughter gift of life to some very lucky person. My baby was the most sweet and loving person you could ever meet. She always wanted and tried to help anyone that asked or just needed it. The heart you received was very clean and pure. She never did drugs, drank and barely took medication. Her greatest desire was to become a mother. God answered her prayers at the time of her death, but he knows best. Life for me has been so hard. I find myself calling her name a lot because she was always right there to help me. I was blessed with (2) daughters. My youngest and only remaining daughter did bless me with a beautiful Granddaughter. The heart you have loved her more than life. I hope when you receive this initial letter from me that I don’t sound like a nut. Because I put this off because that. I feel like you have my heart. I think I need to stop writing because its too painful right now. Hopefully you will write me back. I can’t wait to meet the most luckiest person in the world. I hope you can understand this letter and how difficult it was to write.

*I wrote on the opposite side. This was supposed to be a rough draft. I decided to mail it without correction. Just purely from the heart.

For the sake of anonymity, donor’s families and recipients were never disclosed to one another. (Now, if both parties are willing, correspondence is encouraged through programs such as the Gift of Life Donor Program). Because of this, my mother never had the opportunity to meet the mother of the most generous woman in the world—the woman who gave her continued life. She often spoke of wanting to write to this woman. I am not sure she ever got the opportunity as shortly after her heart transplant, her condition worsened.

On March 25, 2006, her donated heart stopped beating for the last time. I have often thought about writing to my mother’s donor’s mother to thank her but never knew where to start. Today, I write this open letter to this anonymous woman. 

Dear Donor’s Mother:

I wanted to take this opportunity to write to you and thank you. I am the only daughter of the woman who received your daughter’s heart. I know it has been many years since you sent her that letter. It must have been so difficult for you to write that letter so many years ago while still grieving the loss of your child.

I know that you will probably never read this as any records are probably gone by now. But I wanted to write this open letter to you.

First, thank you for writing my mother all of those years ago. That letter greatly helped her in some of her darkest days. Organ transplantation can be a very difficult time as sometimes the organ does not respond the way that it was intended. This happened with my mother. The transplant went smoothly and her initial recovery went very well. Shortly after returning home her condition worsened and she spent many months in rehabilitation facilities and hospitals. But for 4 years she worked very hard to try to get better and to get the most out of her new heart and her life.

I regret to inform you that in 2006, at the age of 52, my mother passed away. I apologize for not writing you earlier, these past 8 years have held a lot of sorrow and longing for my mother. And while I had many times written this letter in my head, I had never put pen to paper and actually written it.

I want to thank you. Thank you for raising such a wonderful young woman that would selflessly become an organ donor. I know that many of her organs went to others who were just as desperate for an organ transplant as my mother. I pray that each of them has had a healthy and happy lives since their transplant.

I am so grateful for your daughter. Because of your daughter, my mother was able to see her only grandchild grow up. My mother loved children and her granddaughter was her baby. She loved her so much and spent many days together.

Because of your daughter, I was able to spend, albeit never enough, valuable time with my mother.  Whether it be at her home, a rehabilitation facility, or hospital, I tried to spend as much time as I could with her. I regret that the last month that she was alive I was unable to spend as much time with her as I had wanted to.

Because of your daughter, I know what self-sacrifice really is. I thank God that she became an organ donor and helped so many people live longer lives. I have since become an organ donor and have encouraged others to do the same.

While both of our loved ones, your daughter and my mother, have now passed on they are both in my thoughts and prayers daily. I hope that they finally got the opportunity to meet in heaven.

May God continue to bless you all the days of your life.

Christina

 

To register as an organ, tissue, or eye donor, please visit Donate Life. 

 

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